If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Delta Airlines one year ago, you would have $49.00 today!
If you purchased $1,000 of shares in AIG, you would have $33.00.
If you purchased $1,000 of shares in Lehman brothers, you would have $0.00 today.
However, if you purchased $1,000 worth of beer, drank all the beer, and turned in the aluminum cans for recycling, you would have $214.00.
Thus the best current investment plan is to drink heavily & recycle.
It is called the 401-Keg Plan
(Thanks, Linda!! Sounds like a winner to me! Do they pay us to bring back aluminum cans here in DC?)
Works for me!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteHeck! The stores are all closed, so it's too late to go buy some beer. What am I saying? I don't like beer's taste. What can I buy? Ale, wine, vodka, saki, or some other such beverage?
ReplyDeleteI just realized, none of those favored beverages come in aluminum cans. Ah! The business idea for which I've been waiting -- market all those beverages in aluminum cans. Do you want to invest in my new business???
ReplyDeleteCome to canada.... we get money back on beer cans, glass beer bottles AND wine and spirit bottles!!!!
ReplyDeleteYou fooled me, ME. I had thought that we would get a hot tip on stocks. Obviously, you are too practical to do that! (Did you hear me groan?)
ReplyDeleteCop Car
Kay:
ReplyDeleteJoared: The only things I like that come in aluminum cans are Diet Coke and Foster's Lager, but Foster's seems to have disappeared from the U.S. market. Haven't had one of their big "oil cans" since I lived in Georgetown, and that was three years ago!! They don't give money back for aluminum cans in DC. The drink is your reward. That's pretty much the attitude in DC: Be thankful for what you have, even if there's no money back after you buy it.
Shammy: Yiz Canadians are so civilized!!!!
Cop Car: Practicality has nowt to do with it. The only stocks I ever made money on were in that game by 3M, the name of which I forget entirely. I actually do quite well on the free practice things, like the one from the commodities market. I was going great guns on gold with that before I retired (heh...on the orifice computer during lunch "half hour.") But when it comes to real life, I just hafta keep workin'.
oops...Kay: Be nice if it were true, huh??
ReplyDeleteCop Car: the game was "Stocks & Bonds"...came out in 1964 or so...just before the time offspring #3 was born, and we had beaucoup snow--many occasions to have friends over to play board games of a winter's evening.
ReplyDeleteI think it's very good advice. Me for the 401-Keg Plan. Tee Hee!
ReplyDeleteDarlene: Can you find anything better???
ReplyDeleteI knew i'd seen them so i Googled "canned wine" - there are bunches of them! And i bet they're really swell too! 8~)
ReplyDeleteNostalgic: Wine cans: they're here, they're queer, get used to it! And then there is single-serving wine in a goblet (in the manner of single-serve jello/yogurt cups) in three "flavors"--cabernet sauvignon, chardonnay, and, um, maybe merlot?: disposable clear plastic goblets with a single serving of wine, sealed at the top by a peel-off foil lid. Pure toss-away, no recycling. Laugh if you want, but Marks & Spencer in the UK is hard-pressed to keep up with the demand! So far, they're not available here. Probably costs to much to ship them from China....
ReplyDeleteWhere was this advice when I could have used it? Maybe there's a similar plan, a 401-Coke. Although that could be misconstrued as something with a considerably higher return. So to speak.
ReplyDeleteOld, old joke: How do you make a small fortune in the stock market? Start with a large fortune.
Ha. I'll drink to that. Darn good advice.
ReplyDeleteMet an unemployed man at the Wacken Heavy Metal open air concert who drives his live-in van from rockfest to rockfest, collecting drink-cans from the garbage and left lying around. He said that in the summer season, he averages 2000 €/month recycling and at Wacken expected to make 8000€ in one long weekend, filling his van and returning 4/5 times per day! In winter he lives on Mallorca in the sunshine :-)
ReplyDeleteWhat am I doing wrong?
Sherwood: laughed OUT LOUD at that old joke--never heard it before! *:0)
ReplyDeleteLeslie: I live in the wrong neck of the woods...We don't get rebates for beverage cans & bottles here in the nation's capitol.
Stu: What a FABULOUS idea! I'll pass this along to my grandson for the next time he wants to spend a summer in Germany. I always thought it'd be lucrative to get myself to Paris and set up shop with a little tin cup outside of that church across from the Abbesses metro stop in Montmartre. Hopefully, any gracious passersby would drop in EUROS, which i could then convert to the American peso aka the dollar.
Sherwood.... I LOVE that joke!
ReplyDeleteThe best investment plan yet!
ReplyDeletePure genius :)